does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
