I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
