We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
