Yo dont text me then not text me
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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