no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
this hospital has no fireball
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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