How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
