you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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