JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize