I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
