K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
