Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
