I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
