trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
