I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
