I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
