Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize