I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
