Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize