I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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