is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
