Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize