but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
50% drunk capacity currently
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
