I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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