..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
