Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
