I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
