as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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