I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize