If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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