I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
