WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
