when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
