I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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