I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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