Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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