Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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