so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
