you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize