at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
