That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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