I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
