I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
