i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I intend to get homeless drunk
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize