I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
