i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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