I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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