I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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