last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
