you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize