hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
