i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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