Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
