Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
