Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
