Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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