Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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