Ambien. No doubt about it.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Randomize
