my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just gift wrapped bread.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
