just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I came so hard my ears popped.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
