I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
