The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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