He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize