check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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