Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize