Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
