When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
