i just made my gag reflex go away.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
