So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
