is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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