Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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