I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
