The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
