vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
