My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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