Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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