I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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