Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
