Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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